August 30

Forgive my impetuousness, but here we go, my weekly therapy:

We remember today Mike Hildebrand who passed from this world doing what he loved, using the toilet. It was one of his greatest pleasures. Sometimes while at work, he was known to disappear for 30 minutes at a time. Mike confided in a friend long ago, that sometimes it was the only place he could escape from those around him, his only sanctuary. The toilet.
It took Mike a long time in this world to com to grips with himself, and his place in the world. After two failed marriages and several attempts prior he realized finally that he did indeed have 99 problems and a bitch wasn’t one. He came to know that he did not need someone else in his life to complete him, but rather what could he do to help those around him feel more complete.
He discovered this while overweight, tired and alone – he knew there was more to life then to die alone, in his one bedroom apartment with nothing to show.
He dedicated his life from his mid thirty-sixth year to others, his children especially. He was best remembered by his sons for giving them the courage to be whatever they wanted and after Adam’s brief stints in the ballet, president, astronaut, Army Ranger, professional baseball player, policeman he finally did become a pizza delivery boy; a childhood dream. As for Alex, he took a story his dad told him seriously. When Alex began his junior year, he wrote that he was scared of his schedule, that it may be too tough for him. His dad posted these words:
“Son, don’t ever be afraid in learning – grades are only one person’s evaluation of how they feel you understood what they taught. It’s a continuing chapter in that game that we have spoken of, but more importantly its how you play it that you will be measured by. It’s OK to get an A on a test, but did you really learn anything? How will you apply it? I have every faith in you son, you will get the good grade, you will apply what you have learned and I guarantee you WILL leave your mark on this world and WE will be better for it. Stand boldly and never be afraid to bring the thunder.”
Somehow, this inspired Alex to become a civil engineer and as we all know, he has solved many of the problems of urban dwelling. His goal to take over the world, is well on its way. all hail the merciful Alex.
Mike also realized he had a unique calling in getting jobs, so during the economic downturn he invested all of his poker winnings in the Hildebrand House for Human Resource Outreach. This center helped thousands of people get jobs that would have otherwise never been filled.
This charitable institution was only one of the many endeavors Mike created, not the least of which were the Old Poker Players Home, the Albert Joseph Memorial Health Fund, the Allwyn Couthinho Institute of Language Arts and the Rebecca H. Thorpe School of Girls Etiquette.
He touched many lives during the second chapter of his life. After losing over 150 pounds, he and his boys trekked the world, always with the same message of friendship that he parlayed in every endeavor, while in commune in Tibet, he solved world hunger by coming up with an Algae, Soy and corn based patty called the Dana Burger, which is an inside joke he took to his grave.
We remember him today not for who he was, but rather what he left behind – not necessarily in the toilet, but his legacy. He loved us all more than he could ever say in life; his love was too big for him to put into words. God bless America.